OK, if we’re gonna be honest, detaching from our phones is unrealistic. But sometimes we just have no business having these devices around. You will prevent some poor decision-making and help mitigate disaster if you leave your phone home (or at least protect it) in the following scenarios:
GNO
Girls night! Champagne. Little black dress. Hot blow out. You’re going out with the girls, and you’re definitely not going to text him—the charming, cute, smart guy from Tinder who hasn’t responded to yesterday’s text. In fact, you’ve changed his contact name to “DON’T TEXT.” You’re confident you won’t text, nor will you agonize over his nonexistent text reply. At some point during the night, though, you lose all self-control. Before your eyes is one humiliating alcohol-induced blue bubble after another (after another, and another)… sent to “DON’T TEXT.”
The next morning: Still. No. Response. Delete. Contact.
Zoo
The zoo is fun for a second date or family outing. But the zoo makes people to do stupid things, like take animal pictures. Not only does the zoo make you want to take (lame) pictures of animals, but you also feel the urge to post those (lame) animal pictures to Facebook. Online pictures of an elephant getting hosed down or a lion sleeping in a faux cave is as interesting as photos of your surprise selfie expression or latte art (also known as social media photo offenses numbers one and two). Live in the moment and enjoy the zoo without your phone. Your Facebook friends and Instagram followers appreciate it.
Sunday Church
Unless you’re recording your nephew during his first Holy Communion, the smartphone doesn’t belong in a place of worship. WikiHow recommends texting a buddy as a way to pass time in church. Don’t take WikiHow’s advice. Leave your phone in the car to resist the temptation to use it. If the separation anxiety of parting with your phone is too much to bear, check out Catholic Apptitude’s etiquette guide for using your cell phone in church (tips apply to all denominations).
Bathroom
It seems like no place is off limits for phones these days (besides church, of course). Our phones go where we go, including the bathroom. The bathroom is a danger zone. One tiny slipup while texting or scrolling, and your phone could become a casualty of water damage. As you stare at your phone in the toilet, regret ensues. “Why did I drop my phone?” “Why did I have to text in the bathroom?” “Why didn’t I stay in better touch with friends?” “Why didn’t I stand up to bullies in school?” “Why didn’t I live life to its fullest?”
Even Forbes contributor Eric Jackson agrees that one of the 25 biggest regrets in life is not turning off the phone more or leaving it at home. But if you don’t want to take Jackson’s words of wisdom, you can at least safeguard your phone with liquid damage protection.
Out to Dinner
Society’s non-parents can be quick to scorn crying babies and misbehaving kids in public spaces, certain that their future offspring will be angels. And any parent understands what it feels like to be under the judgmental glare of non-parents, especially when you’re quick to pacify your little ones with a smartphone or tablet after a full-blown earthquake-level temper tantrum. If you’re brave enough to take your rambunctious brood out to dinner at a nice eatery (read: not McDonalds) and don’t want to be on the receiving end of others’ judgment, leave the digital devices behind.
Break Up
Someone gets dumped. And if the dumpee didn’t want to break up, expect emotions to erupt. If you’re breaking up with your sigoth, make sure your phone’s not easily accessible. Your phone may become the innocent bystander that ends up taking the most heat during the demise of this relationship. Unless you have insurance to cover a cracked screen, keep your phone away. Not only could it be used as an emotional outlet, it could potentially be used as a weapon (not really, that would be cray) (but really, we’ve seen it happen).
So there are our picks for the six situations where you’re better off without your phone. As if you’ll listen.
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